Christmas gift list for 2017: Guess who’s been the most naughty and not nice at all
Buon Natale tutti! Merry Christmas everyone from the Eternal City where Santa Claus decided to take up residence this year. Turns out, the North Pole heated up to where that long white beard and big red suit are just too warm. I just saw him walking through Piazza Navona on his way to see his elves in their workshop (they split, too) and I told him many rednecks, er, people in America think the higher temperatures are just cyclical.
“Cycle this,” he said as he stormed by me.
Well, I followed him and peeked at his gift list for all those naughty and nice. Turns out, the naughty ones are getting the most gifts which is why his first stop will be Washington. No one on Earth was more naughty this year than that Talking Yam we have in the White House.
So here’s the list. I’m sorry for ruining the surprises but after the year we all had, we’ve had enough of surprises.
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