SUNDAY, MAY 13 – LECCE, ITALY Mussolini vowed he’d make the trains in Italy run on time and he did. Now Italy needs another fascist to work on the buses. I’m in Lecce 40 euro poorer after the “deficiente” (moron) here three days ago sold me a bus ticket from Otranto to Lecce when there […]
SATURDAY, MAY 12 – OTRANTO, ITALY There’s a bottle of ice cold water near my laptop that I would’ve given five years off my life or my left testicle last night if it was available. I’m so dehydrated I don’t know if I felt worse this morning or yesterday when I had the vicious hangover. […]
FRIDAY, MAY 11 – OTRANTO, ITALY I take back anything good I’ve said about Italian wine. They don’t need preservatives and phosphates, the mine fields of American wine, to produce a nuclear explosion in your frontal lobe. I’m writing this with one eye closed. It’s to lessen the pain from a savage hangover from the […]
THURSDAY, MAY 10 – FOGGIA, ITALY There are certain times in a person’s travels when they find the perfect corner of the planet at just the perfect time. The Foggia train station McDonald’s, where I’m writing this, is not one of them. However, yesterday afternoon I had one of those moments – no, hours – […]
WEDNESDAY, MAY 9 – VIESTE, ITALY For a tiny beach town, this place is as loud as Fort Lauderdale over spring break. It’s the celebration of Santa Maria di Marino, the patron saint of Vieste. I think every town in Italy has a patron saint, but I’ve never seen one as beloved as this Santa […]
TUESDAY, MAY 8 – VIESTE, ITALY Sometimes in travel you find yourself in such an idyllic place that you think you’re the only person in the world this happy. This is one of those times. I’m on the rooftop of Rocca Sul Mare, my hotel here high above the Adriatic Sea. The rooftop is barebones, […]
TUESDAY, MAY 1 Living in the States sometimes I forget the simple facts of Southern Europe. Take the siesta. Or pausa. Or mid-day break. I completely forgot that some countries completely shut down. In rural Portugal, you might as well not leave the hotel. From 3-6 everything is closed. So what time did I take […]
MONDAY, APRIL 30 Now I know why Porto takes like grape juice but wallops like grappa. It’s filled with brandy! The fucking Brits used to put brandy in their wine to preserve it for shipping. The brandy they use is 78 percent alcohol. That’s just one of the little tidbits of information I heard on […]
SUNDAY, APRIL 29 It’s 11:07 a.m. and I’m just now getting out of bed. Whether it’s Brazil or Portugal, these people know how to party. I’m drinking myself blind over here. Last night is a haze. All the bars melted into one long slog. I blame this port wine, a new addiction on the level […]
SATURDAY, APRIL 28 The bells from the church seemingly in the next room have chimed nine times, 10 times, 11 times. It’s probably time to get up. The combination of 18 hours travel time and a wild Friday night in Porto hit me like a giant sand bag. I’m partially hung over, completely underestimating the […]
NUSA DUA, Bali — A word about security in Bali. In a land of happy faces, in a religion where the centerpiece is peace and tranquility, Bali has some trappings of an island at war. Security is everywhere. The hotel shuttle takes me through two huge gates where armed security guards open the door and […]
KUTA, Bali — The Balinese dancer wore hotpants. She and her co-worker stood above me on a dance platform with skin-tight black short shorts and matching jog bra, both adorned with strategically placed Christmas lights. They were both gyrating to rap music with moves that would cause Shiva, Vishnu and every other Hindu god to […]
