Italian Life

April 29, 2020

Trump vs. Conte: Here in Italy our pasta isn’t the only thing that’s better than in U.S.

Both came from nowhere to lead their countries. Both lead the countries with the most Covid-19 deaths in the world. Both address their nations on TV. Both have a pulse — although I’m not sure both have hearts. The similarities between Italy prime minister Giuseppe Conte and U.S. president Fuckface von Clownstick pretty much end there. As Italy’s coronavirus curve flattens and the United States’, […]

April 21, 2020

Italy’s coronavirus lockdown for expats: Tears, loneliness and loved ones far away

The sidewalk cafes tempt you like the Sirens from a nearby shore. You can feel the sun’s warmth on your balcony but you can’t feel the sea. The last time you did the Italian double-cheek kiss was with your cat. Welcome to Porto Quarantina. Life in Italian lockdown is harder than most places. We live in the most beautiful country in the world but feel […]

April 8, 2020

100 books: Retirement is a reading paradise, making life in the virus less like a living hell

So how do you like your company now? I see divorce filings are up all over the United States. Domestic violence is up in Asia. Netflix stock must look like Apple 20 years ago. In this time of international lockdown, people from San Diego to Shanghai are searching in the far corners of the Internet and the closet for something to do. You’ve played Monopoly […]

March 11, 2020

Life in Coronavirus lockdown: Italy closes its borders

Tuesday I had to make the risky move of traveling across Rome to a clinic using public transportation. As Italy becomes the western world’s most paralyzed country courtesy of the Coronavirus, I felt like the guy sneaking out of his shelter in a scene from “Night of the Living Dead.” My girlfriend, a third-generation Roman terrified of the virus, begged me to take a taxi. […]

March 6, 2020

Coronavirus in Italy: inside Europe’s biggest petri dish

Hello from Quarantine Centrale. Here in Italy we have become Europe’s red-headed, deformed stepchild. We are shunned, ridiculed and home bound. The Coronavirus has turned all 60 million of us into passengers on one giant cruise ship. We’re sitting motionless with no port accepting our wretched, damned souls. I myself am quarantined. Yes, it happened to me. Since returning from Saudi Arabia last Friday, I […]

January 28, 2020

Derby Day in Rome: a vicious rivalry that can still bring opposites together

(Editor’s note: I was planning on posting this Monday but yesterday was meant for remembering Kobe Bryant and not a relatively meaningless soccer game in Rome.Riposa in pace, Kobe.) It was a terrific idea to celebrate a birthday. Alessandro Castellani, my best Italian friend in Rome and veteran sportswriter, had gathered seven of his male friends to an arranged dinner. We were all huge soccer […]

January 8, 2020

Why I love Rome: My 6th annual list why la dolce vita is as sweet as black cherry gelato

Six years ago this Saturday I retired to Rome saying I wanted to live the last third of my life in the most beautiful city in the world. Of course, I could’ve been leaping into a chasm of living hell. I had few friends, no girlfriend, a tiny cave of a flat and terrible Italian. Today I have many friends, an apartment nearly as beautiful […]

December 24, 2019

Christmas in Rome: Lighter on the lights but heavy on the meaning

Christmas has special meaning in the center of Christendom, but even St. Peter's Square is understated.

I grew up in the capital of the commercial world and now live in the capital of the Catholic world. It is Christmas time, a time when capitalism and religion merge into a big, sparkling Christmas ball — a green Christmas ball. Comparing Christmas in Rome to Christmas anywhere in the U.S. is like staring at the moon compared to staring at a spotlight. I […]

December 18, 2019

Christmas gifts to the world: Heads up, Washington … here comes Santa from Rome!

Did you know Santa Claus lives in Italy? It’s true. His real name is Santa Clausini. He anglicized it to be accepted in more of the world’s chimneys. He and his elves (actually a self-loathing freelance writer from Oregon) have a workshop in Rome’s Monteverde neighborhood where we think up the perfect Christmas gifts for people around the world. Mostly bad people. As the world […]

December 11, 2019

Top 10 Underrated Towns in Italy for 2020: Get off the well-trodden track

Conde Nast came out with its annual Readers Choice list for the world’s best countries and Italy came out ninth. Italy appearing in a top 10 list is like Alabama football, U.S. billionaires and Harvard. Conde Nast called Italy the “evergreen country.” It’s always there. It’s why I’m here. And I’m not leaving. Next month I will enter my seventh year in Italy, my ninth […]

October 23, 2019

My 5 favorite restaurants in Rome: Affordable, accessible, authentic

I’m often asked if I’d ever live anywhere in Italy besides Rome. I know what they’re getting at. If it’s a woman, she read “Under the Tuscan Sun” and thinks life in rural Italy is all Italian poetry and glasses of Chianti in gardens. If it’s a man, they hated Rome’s filth and have a postcard of Positano hanging on their computer back home. The […]

October 17, 2019

An Italian wedding: Like American weddings but with more romance and … do you have a red suit?

I sipped Prosecco Saturday in the same piazza where Benito Mussolini worked his fascist throng into a froth. I stood in Piazza Venezia, in the shadow of the gargantuan white confectionery monument called Il Vittoriano, in suit and tie, and celebrated the most Italian of Italian traditions. The Italian wedding. No, not mine. It was the daughter of our friends and it was my first. […]

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